A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Hey

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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