What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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