what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

Baaaaaaahhhhhh

87

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

An Amish walks into Best Buy

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

youre gay

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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