What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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Female Athletics

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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You.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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