A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Female rights.

Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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