Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops