What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Gustavo Andrade

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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