What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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My life

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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make me a sandwich!

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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