Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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