roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Chuck Norris.

Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

Rebecca Black

So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

What is white and square? A ping pong block

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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