Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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I have read the terms and conditions

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Massie is a fatass

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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Guess what? Bananas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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