Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What is red? A rock painted red

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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