Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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