Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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11111

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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pussy enough said

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Womens rights

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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