A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

my names jim haha

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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