Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops