whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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world society

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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