How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Why do i have no likes? Because im disliked...

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Massie is a fatass

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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