Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I like your hair

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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roses are red violets are indigo

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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