In soviet Russia...things are different

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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