What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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James Patrick Campbell

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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