How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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