Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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