Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +30

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops