What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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