Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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- Helen Keller

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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