If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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whats 7+4? 74

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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