*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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women's rights

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops