If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Penis

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Raveena Thandhan

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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what's up? my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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