When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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