A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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9/11

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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lol im s0 gut at spelign at engrish N u laughd n liekd diZ funi joek XDD u most LUV LE MEMEZ n EMOtikons Lol (^-^) y u guyz so st00p1d at math Wtf???!?!? 1+1=8 i m soooo smurt hahaha I <3 warrior cats n dance 2 gangnum stail wile masturbatin 2 swagbois le raeg comicz ;3!! . And now you are dying of cancer.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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