What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops