Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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ur mum

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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James Patrick Campbell

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops