Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

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mental kid

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Snooki

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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