What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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