why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

What did death say to life? Go die

How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

What's big and long? My dick.

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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