why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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