A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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