Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

long in the tooth!

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

CRY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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