What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

Bannana man do do do do do ect.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

Is maynaise an instrument?

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

My mum is called Steve

Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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