what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

This statement is false.

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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