A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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You will not press the like button.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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why bouriquet can not read is book ? cause he's retarted

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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