What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

guess what chicken butt

Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

010010101210001010 You dirty girl

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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