A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Help I'm being raped!

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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