What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

gabbi nunez ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Punching a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops