A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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homosexuals are gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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