What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

Wait what? I did not type that!

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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