What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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im a willy bum bum

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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