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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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oooh look a banshee

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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nina...;shut up we are having fun :)

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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