Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

At least I dont have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Agent 47.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops