Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

thumb_up thumb_down +30

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A possesed goat: "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

so... how about that airplane food

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops